Instagram & Tea

I've hopped on to the Instagram bandwagon! My boyfriend got me the iPhone 4 for Valentine's Day and one of the first apps I downloaded was Instagram. It's fair to say my addiction has only grown. 

Since I have suffered from two bouts with illness this year (one gastrointestinal, one upper respiratory) my new goal is to strive towards better nutrition. No more colds! In an effort to get over my current cold, I made a big pot of get better tea. My Mom used to make this tea any time anyone got sick growing up. She'd always start make it in the same pot... it was some sort of pressure cooker my paternal great-grandmother gave to my parents after they married and moved in together.

Tomorrow morning my youngest sister is dropping me off at the bus station, where my 24 hour trip to California begins. I'll be in California for 30 hours, and then spend another 24 coming back. Sleep? When? Excited is just the beginning of how I feel about this trip...

Drawing

Thank You

How amazing is His hand? I want to write about everything... little things and big things. His work is evident in the tiniest of things these past few weeks, each one adding up to something amazing and glorious. How lucky I am, to be so loved.

Resolutions

Winter has hit the Pacific Northwest; the way my car swayed crossing the bridge coming home from work last night wouldn't let me forget that. I listened to the sound of rain pounding down on the roof of the motor-home running from one end to the other duct-taping washcloths to the ceiling in hopes of keeping the water off my floor. The weather took a turn on Christmas day, and hasn't let up since. There is a say about Oregon; Oregon has three seasons, rain, rain, rain, and road construction. Right now, it feels very true. It’s part of why I love this part of the country though.

Call me crazy, but I have a bond with the rain. It feels like communication from my Father, the heavenly one, and the one who is gone. The day my Dad passed away was beautiful and sunny in Missouri, until the moment I boarded the plan to go home to be with my Mom and sisters. As I passed through the "walk way" and onto the plane, I noticed the rain falling in the small gap between the two. I reached out to touch it; the feeling of wet on my fingers is something I have yet to forget.

For me, it was like his way of saying goodbye. On the day I decided to marry my husband (now ex) and move back to the Northwest from Kentucky, it rained. When I broke up with my husband, it rained. The day I moved in to my very first apartment, all by myself, it rained. The day my Mom and Step-dad offered me the motor-home as an alternative to living in a hotel, it rained. There are many other moments like these. Coincidence, maybe. In fact, as often as it rains here it would be almost impossible NOT to make some sort of life altering choice on a rainy day at least once in a while.

Still, the rain is special to me. I tried not to resent it last night as I found wet spots by the vents and ceiling lights. It's all fixable, and truly a matter of perspective. My original intention was to post about New Year's Resolutions, obviously I've strayed far.

Heavy on my mind lately has been something deeply personal, and the little drips from the ceiling were like an affirmation of how I decided to deal with these feelings. I am going to make this affirmation part of my New Year's Resolutions. I have only four this year, and like Sarah of Clover Lane, they are one word each. Hopefully I won't forget what they mean halfway through the year. I jotted them down in next year’s planner tonight, and hope to come back to this blog next year and celebrate achieving at least a few of them.

Happy Anniversary

A month ago this morning I woke up after spending my first night in the motor-home. Insignificant it may be, in the grand scheme of things. Right now though, it feels huge. Many things have changed since that first night. A lot has stayed the same. Problems have been conquered, only for new ones to arise. 

It's crazy, that so few days have passed. It feels like an eternity. The week proceeding moving in, I was staying in a hotel. Before that, I was sharing a home with my sister, her husband, and their two children. We had been living together on and off for going on 3 years, and it has been strange adjusting to all this... aloneness. 

Is aloneness a word? Spellchecker is throwing a fit, but I refuse to change it. Some nights this life is very lonely. Achingly so, when you're used to having tiny children and other adults around ALL the time. Bubbly's presence makes those moments much easier to handle. They are few and far in between, thankfully. I have always been a loner, happy with my books, computer, and self. I feel like ME. Or the me I used to be.

In many ways I didn't just move into a home, but I -came- home. It may only make sense to me, but that's why I am writing here. Chronicling the moments of sadness, the victories, the questions, the progress. I hope to look back a year from now, and shake my head in wonder... where did all the time go?

For now, I can't believe it's only been a month. It feels like forever. Last night I peeled wallpaper off the kitchen walls. My first step towards renovation. One that will require more work than I realized. There is two more layers of paper beneath the one I removed yesterday.

Here I go, off to slay the dragon I call home.

Dashed

My goal for today was to get new pictures of the motorhome to chronicle how I've settled in to the space without making any renovations. It's raining though, and for some angles I would actually have to step outside and shoot through the door or a window to get a decent shot... so, pictures to come in the New Year!

I will tell you that the chairs that came with the motorhome have been removed. They were Awful. AWFUL. I replaced one with a simple rolling chair, and the other with a bookcase. All in and all I am happy with the change, and find everything to be much more comfortable. Being down one seat doesn't bother me much anyway, as the total amount of people I have had in the trailer is 3 adults and 1 baby... there was plenty enough room for us all.

A gripe would be the overall lack of wall and counter space. Right now my television sits on an end table that is actually sitting on top of one of the fold out beds. Tacky, and slightly dangerous... but there is no where else for it. One day I would like to upgrade to a flat panel wall mount for space reasons... but there is no where to mount one. I could look into some sort of under cabinet mounting system I suppose, but then I run the risk of blocking out natural light from the windows.

Television isn't all that important, it's just there for the noise really. I guess that's a small gripe, and if it's the biggest I have at the moment, I'm in a good spot.